Being a teacher is hard.
Really hard.
Today was the first day that I honestly wanted to quit teaching. Today the bad points outweighed the good ones. I couldn't stop thinking things such as "Why didn't I become a singer, actor, banker, garbage man, postal worker, etc.?" Why didn't I find a career that was a regular 8-5 job and didn't follow you home? Why didn't I go on a path that led to simple tasks, little growth and free weekends?
Why?
Today wasn't the first difficult day of my professional career, but it might have been the most difficult up to this point. I can't shake the feeling that I am doing this wrong. There has to be an easier way. This can't be what I do for the next 35 years, right?
I want to change the world. I want to influence students to see the importance of math and use it. I want students to be smarter when they leave my classroom than when they entered it. I want them to wonder and question. I want them to not hate coming to math class even if they hate math. I want them to try and fail, then try again and succeed. I want them to understand questions are natural and meaningful, mistakes are normal and success is praiseworthy. I want them to question why stuff works and then have the drive to go figure it out. I want a lot of things for my students. The problem is:
They don't.
They want an easy A. They don't want to think, but rather they want a cookie cutter answer. They want so little and lack work ethic so much.
I'm at a loss tonight. Right as I thought I understood students and their wants, it flies back in my face to prove that I still have a lot of learning to do.
